When we think about how to achieve success, we often focus on the skills and habits we need to learn and add to our lives. But I learned that sometimes the key to success actually lies in our ability to stop certain habits and behaviors, which prevent most people from achieving real success. Some might seem harmless or quirky, but others can really get in the way of your health and wellbeing.
Here are a few common bad habits that may be holding back from achieving a happier, healthier life.
You have a choice to use natural remedies to treat cold and cough and do not have to rely medicine at first instinct when you fall sick.
Stop Comparing
In this day and age, this next point couldn’t be any more relevant. With the ever-growing presence of social media, everyone knows everyone else’s business. If it’s not a long-lost friend buying a new sports car or an ex-colleague getting that next big promotion, there’s always something to rain on your parade. But that’s okay. Good for them! The fact of the matter is you can’t let other people’s successes belittle your own. People achieve certain things at different points in their lives. Sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason, sometimes it’s just down to plain old luck! Of course, you aren’t privy to any of this information, just a doctored image and a manufactured reality. Think of it this way, our Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn feeds only feature our friends’ ‘highlight reels. You don’t get to see all the failures, hard work and toil in between. With this in mind, take what you see with a pinch of salt and focus on your own journey. In your life, your success and the ones you care about should be your number one priority.
Why Self-doubt?
We’ve heard it all before. "I don’t know what I want”, “I don’t know how”, “I can’t do it”. Self-defeating behavior is to sabotage our own success, to do things that will lead us to fail. It affects our personal, professional and social life, and will represent an obstacle to achieving our goals and dreams, and getting the most out of life. The big problem with self-sabotage is that, because of the negative feedback loop that this behavior creates, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’re more than likely not giving yourself enough credit for your own capability. Humility really is a great thing but never underestimate your own self-worth.
Accept Criticism
Most people spend their days worrying about what others think about them and will go to great lengths to look good or save face. The ironic part is that those same people are so consumed worrying about what you think of them, that they aren’t actually thinking about. Working hard to make sure that no one criticizes us is just plain silly. First, it is exhausting and takes energy away from more important areas in your life. Second, generally speaking, there is no “right” way, just each individual’s way. Also, people are criticizing you anyway, maybe not to your face of course but they do. They did in the past, they do now, and they will forever.
Simply try to do the work to uncover who you really are deep down inside. To listen to YOUR inner truth. When you do, you can then make a choice to be more authentic, more “yourself". Be true to yourself rather than looking externally for approval and feedback.
Stop worrying about factors outside your control.
Anxiety is especially prevalent today. While there is an infinite number of things you can worry about, there is only a finite number of things you can control. Remember that you can’t change what others say or think about you. You can’t decide the actions other people take or how they affect you. What you can do though, is decide what is your next step.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
When you focus on your flaws to the detriment of your strengths, when you dwell on your mistakes but dismiss your successes as luck, you undermine yourself in the worst way. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean you are freeing yourself from the consequences of your actions, but it is necessary for your own mental well-being that you accept yourself and your flaws. What’s done is done. Instead of pondering over what you can’t change, use those past mistakes to proactively think about how you would do things today. Failures can be used to your advantage, if you’re willing to turn them into lessons for the future. Show yourself the same kindness and respect that you’d show your loved ones. Whilst it’s important, don’t place too much pressure on yourself.
Stop self-pity
Self-pity is basically one of the most destructive behaviors you can adopt in life. It is dangerously comfortable, it can be addictive and, what is worse, it can become your default emotion when things get tough. The problem with that mindset is that it fosters a feeling of helplessness, and people who feel helpless are less likely to take action to make things better. When you fall into this attitude of pitying yourself, you are letting the circumstances take control of our life, when it should be exactly the opposite. You are the one in charge of your life; nobody or nothing else.
While everyone is entitled to feel down every once in a while, it’s important to recognize when it’s affecting your outlook on life. You’re not the only person that bad things happen to, and you do have control over your future as long as you’re willing to take action.
Food for thought:
What are some of these habits you see in yourself? What would you like to work on to improve your health and wellbeing?
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